ext_11554 ([identity profile] herowlness.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] jam_pony_fic 2006-10-09 05:47 am (UTC)

This was gorgeous. Short, sweet, to the point, but excellent all at the same time. I really loved the repetition of "It was her back" twice at the beginning, and a variation thereof at the end. Of course, I think it might have had more impact, had you ended the story with the something like:

Fuck.

It was her back.


Of course, that's more my writing style anyhow (the repetition, I mean), so I'm probably just trying to impress my own style on you, which .... no.

Thanks for this! :)

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