Not You!--Electricgurl--Da

[amanofmydreams.livejournal.com]

Title: NOT YOU!
Author: Amelia aka:electricgurl
Email: ameliakate@gmail.com
Show: Dark Angel
Genre: Angst/Drama
Pairing: M/A
Rating: NC-17
Summary:
Status: Complete

A/N: This was made a while ago but it fits the song. And I wanted some feedback to it. It is Graphic so please follow the rating! It's there for a reason kiddies.

Title: Not You!

Author: electricgurl

Email: ameliakate@gmail.com

Disclaimer: I don't own them…Okay….Wish that I did there would be

little Alec’s and Maxie's running around everywhere: )

Rating: R due to graphic scenes…

Timeline: Shortly After the escape of 09.

Summary: A look at Alec's life when they were being trained about the traitors…

A/N: AU where there was only Alec and Sam as twins…It helps the plot a

little…Even if Sam isn't in it….Bold is plot…damn it…to hopefully make

this more understandable…And Italics…are flashbacks that 494 is having…

He is around the age of 9-10… please keep that in mind…

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“So in conclusion.” Becky said as she closed the file on Lydeckers computer. “Now only will you be endangering them you will be also endangering any further years of prototypes.”

“I’m still waiting.” He said leaning back into the chair. She practically growled at him. She took a deep breath and pulled back away from him.

“I’m just saying that-“

“Look, Becky I know that we have been friends for God knows how many years but that doesn’t make a difference.”

“But I’m a-“

“And don’t even think about saying that as you served as surrogate, you have no right or say in this matter.”

“Donald, I was the one that got you were you are today.”

”And I’m greatful, but I can’t help you.”

Becky sighed and went back to her first plan.

"Sir, please, I'm begging you. Pull the twins pictures off the list."

Becky pleaded with Lydecker.

"No." He simply stated. "You haven't given me enough reason."

"REASON ENOUGH!!" She gasped outraged. "They will be scarred for life. They could possibly endanger themselves. Others might try to endanger them because of the way they look."

"It would save Manticore from doing it themselves…” He looked up as he trailed off, letting her think that over. “So I ask you again. you give me a good better reason to pull the twins pictures from the program?"

Becky stared wonderingly with the mouth open. "No sir." With that she turned and left his office thinking of a new way to get to her son.

“Fine to satisfy you. They will be pulled from active duty and just be trained until such time that this problem is solved.”

Becky smiled. At least I saved him for awhile. She thought to herself.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"I'm not you." He said as he scratched at his face. "You are taking over my body but I'm not you." He growled out looking at the mirror as he tore at his face with his own fingers.

"Gotta prove that I am better than you, gotta prove that you are just something to look at." He groaned as he pulled out the knife he had taken from the dinner table. He grinned madly as he placed it on his temple and began to saw into his skin.

"If I take you off then maybe I will get a new face. A face that no one hates. One that doesn't get me sent away and beat for the way I look." He nodded as he cut in deeper and began to move down his face.

"I need a new face. Then I will be back to being number one. I will be the best again and not the twin of an 09er." He nodded his vision going red as blood began to dip into his eyes.

His hands reached his chin as the knife began to slowly and painfully cut and he paused looking in the mirror. The face of a traitor looking back at him. "RAT!" He screamed as he cut along his chin and up his other side of his face.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"You are nothing 494!" X5-849 taunted him. "You will grow up to be just like your brother! A turncoat!" He laughed and turned to face the their commanding Officer.

"Take him down to isolation. It's time he learnt a lesson." X5-168 commanded.

494 opened his mouth to protest but was cut off.

“Do you have something to say solider?” He asked.

“No sir. I don’t sir.” He said glaring at the month older soldier.

“Good. Now off isolation for you.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"TRAITOR!"

"DESERTER!"

"RAT!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Lydecker was looking forward to just leaving work behind. He glanced at his clock. It was already seven-forty. He sighed. Another long night of working alone. He took a sip of his coffee and went back to work. At least until a knock came at his door.

“Come in.” He said distractedly. 

“Good evening sir.”

“How many times do I have to tell you Becky, my name to you is Donald.” She sighed.

“I would call you that if you would listen to me.”

“It’s out of my hands…and sadly you were only being used.” He stated bluntly. “So please either talk about something else or get out.”

"Sir, please. You must think this through." Becky pleaded again a few days later. She opened a file and placed it in front of him. 453 was laying on a table her face bruised and cut.

"Which solider did this?" Lydecker demanded.

"She did it to herself,” She paused looking up into his face. Her eyes connected with his. Only then did she finish her sentence.  “Sir."

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"TRAITOR!"

"DESERTER!"

"RAT!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

494 closed his eyes. Maybe the screams would go away. He turned his head and was meet by the brick wall that was blocking his vision from the rest of the isolation units. He turned back to the soldier in the doorway. Who was unaffected by the constant wailing of the mind of a ten year old boy.

He inhaled deeply when they didn't. But then again they wouldn't stop screaming as there wasn’t anyone else there… he was the one screaming. And no one could hear something that wasn’t really happening.  He groaned. "Please stop. I’ll do anything. Just go away. Leave me alone. I just want to—Please make it stop" He pleaded.

"A SOLDIER DOES NOT PLEAD!" Screamed the Tactical Officer

"Sir, sorry Sir." He said.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"TRAITOR!"

"DESERTER!"

"RAT!"

He screamed.  With every word he took another cut until he was back at his temple. Blood was everywhere. He glared into the mirror across from him and grinned. Half-way there.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"You are nobody! Do you understand that soldier?" Yelled the C.O.

"Sir, yes, sir! I'm no-one."

"You will always be a solider. You will never become anything better then just a foot solider! Never become anything other then something for us to use and then throw away!. Think that over every time you look into the mirror. You have him to thank for this."

His so called cell mates. His friends just turned and looked out the window as the commanding Officer taunted and bullied the young boy into a corner.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"New face. The others will play again. They won't cast me away to the basement people." He shivered at the thought of only being as good as the lower X series and the nomalies. "New face and I can go on missions. I can see the world. I can-" A tear rolled down his cheek mixing with the blood.

"I can do so much!" He cried to himself.

"But only if I can get a new face!" He screamed tortured at the mirror. His fingers dug in where he had been cutting. "New face!"

"Got" Another deep scratch.

"TO." He looked at his blood stained hands.

"HAVE." Back to his face.

"A" He looked up at the mirror again.

"New FACE!" He screamed as he punched the mirror. He growled and tossed himself into the attack.

"I HATE YOU!!!" he screamed at the twin across from him.

"I HATE YOU!"

"HATE YOU!" He dropped to his knees and picked up the knife again.

"New face." He said quietly as he went back to cutting. Totally ignoring his previous outburst, he went back to work.

 He was so busy he didn't see the nurse that came in. 

He didn't hear her gasp, or the cry for help. 

Becky gasped as she fall upon the scene that was in front of her. She rushed forward and grabbed the knife trying to pull it from his blood stained hands. He screamed and batted at her. He pulled free and rolled away jumping to his feet he inched into a corner trying to get away from her. The knife still sawing at his face.

Becky felt a tear fall down her check. “Come on now…give me the knife.”

“Need a new face. Needanewface Needanewface Needanewface Needanewface…”

Becky inched closer trying to hear what he was saying.”

“NeedanewfacesoIcanbeliketheothers… NeedanewfacesoIcanbeliketheothers… NeedanewfacesoIcanbeliketheothers…Just like the other.”

She gasped and fall backwards away from him and called for help again. Hearing a reply she got back up and walked over to him. She reached her hand out. A quick and deep slash was all that she received. She pulled it back gasping in surprise.

“Needtomakethevoicesstop.” He groaned one hand reaching up to his temple and scratching at it. “MAKE THEM STOP!” He screamed Becky gasped in pain and fright.

He moved back to cutting. She watched him and then grabbed both wrists and yanked painfully back. He didn’t even notice. 

“New face to make the voices stop.” His hands were still moving in the same motion.

Becky watched as she tossed his wrist around until the knife finally broke free. She groaned as she moved her hand the cut widening. Just then two guards and a doctor rushed in.

“Move back Miss.” He informed her.

“I have him.” She told him. The doctor nodded and moved over motioning for her to flip his arm around she moved it gently but that wasn’t working. A guard moved up and took his arm and twisted it to the breaking point. She gasped looking up at him.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!” She screamed.

“My job.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Becky was taken back to her on lot housing and let rest. It wasn’t for a two weeks later that she was aloud to come in and see him. Even then he was asleep trying to get over the entire deal.

“How is he doing?” She asked the nurse.

“Better. We started him on pills and re-set his arm.” She sighed. “What some of these X5’s are able of doing to themselves. Becky frowned but stayed silent.

“You can have a few minutes but no more.” She said leaving. “I’ll be around if you need me.” Becky nodded her understanding and walked over taking a seat beside 494. She smiled looking at him. He has my hair. She said looking at him. She brushed his inch long hair. He sighed and slowly began to wake. She bit her lip. He has my eyes also. She thought looking at him.

"Shhh." She said trying to calm him as he gasped seeing someone above him. "It will be okay." She said softly touching his forehead. 

“I don’t think you should be here Ma’am.”

“It’s okay I was told that it was okay for a few moments to come and visit you.” He nodded.

“Permission to speak.” She nodded.

”You have my eyes.” She grinned.

“Yeah…I do…”

494 looked down as bit his lip.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“It’s just that---“

“You’re not him.” She said looking him in the eye. He gasped. 

"But his…my…his face."

"Is different." She smiled. "Always be yourself and you will never fail...in anything… Remember what your brother did… and you will always be safe and beautiful and perfect." She smiled.

"Trust me." 

494 smiled at her. "Maybe things will be better, someday." She smiled sadly at him.

"Sleep now." She said softly holding him. He nodded and before long was fast asleep.

"I'll always be here to watch over you, son." She said petting his head softly.

  >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"You were right." Lydecker said as he approached where she stood in front of her son's window.  "And I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you Becky. I didn’t want to see you in pain."

"It's a little late for an apology." She stated turning to face him. He nodded.

"I know and I'm just coming to tell you that we have pulled the pictures. 494 and 453 will not have to endure this any longer."

"I think that the damage has already been done." She snapped, she turned back to look at her son.

"That may be, but you will never know about it anyway." She gasped and spun.

"What do you mean?!?" She asked.

"You have been cut from this operation. The council thinks that you are getting to close to the subjects."

"He's my son. They both were are."

"Exactly." Lydecker stated as he turned on one heel. He paused in front of the door. "I am sorry. You will need to leave before 0500 tonight. Say your goodbyes then leave…If you don’t leave…remember that we do have ways of you disappearing…Your escort will be there at 0445.” And with that he was gone.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

As Becky stood over 494 she ran her fingers over his perfect face.

"No scaring." She whispered. She was just back for a quick visit before leaving. Her ‘escort’ was standing beside her. She smiled and kissed his forehead, getting up before he woke up.

"Ma'am?" Came the soft voice from behind. 

"It's Becky." She said softly.

"I'm 494." She smiled. 

"I know." Was the only reply.

"Thank-you." He whispered. Becky turned to the door.

"Just always remember what I said." She said as a tear ran down her face.

"Yes, ma'am." And with that Becky left her son's life forever.

Her perfect, beautiful, loving son.

Fini.

A/N: So this is the re-vamped idea…Let me know what you think…And before I don’t write it do…THANKS A BILLION TO SU…who made this fic hopefully 20 times better then it was! Thanks doll This ones for you!

 

Comments

[mythverdandi.livejournal.com]

This is... I had to go away and come back to it, the imagery's so strong. Ouch, is all I can say, really. *covers face with hands and shudders* That was...I'll be feeling my forehead all day making sure my face is still attached now.

Just a couple of notes, there were a few minor spelling issues - and also the formatting makes it a little difficult to read, since it goes way off the edge of the screen.

Thanks for posting this! And, y'know, putting one of my major squeamish points on the screen in front of me in black and white. ;)